This is not just a woo-woo statement. It’s really true and proven over and over again. I hear people say they want a relationship, want to be married, have children…or stay single and enjoy the freedom…but when they get what they want, they are not happy or satisfied. I hear, see and experience companies and CEOs with aggressive growth plans wanting a strong candidate for a radical change, but when they see or get one, they are intimidated and revert back into protecting the traditional orthodoxies. We say we want this or that, but do we really understand the trade-offs for the benefits we desire? Are we ready for it?
Beliefs are important; they behoove us to guard our thoughts and actions. And they can change by the things we observe, experience and pay attention to. I read a study by Time magazine a while back which indicated that as women have gained more freedom, more education, more economic power, they have become less happy. Integrating the modern lifestyle with traditional visions of family life and relationships – something has to give, right? Women’s movement say it’s no longer a man’s world, but should it be a woman’s world? This study reported that more than two-thirds of women still think men resent powerful women, yet women are more likely than men to say female bosses are harder to work for than male ones (45%W, 29%M). What type of women’s movement are we having?
Men & women of all races and ages largely agree on life goals. Perhaps it’s a shared reality that should be under constant evaluation, and is gender and color neutral. We can’t always try to fit into social and cultural norms, because the template of happiness and success is constantly changing – and it is very unique and personal to each individual.
Heidi Grant points out to studies showing that when people “feel” they were rushed while deciding, they regret the decisions they make even when they turn out well. I agree, but also think cultures create and drive behavior, then habits, then results. When we say we “want” something that is in conflict with the culture and behavior that is deeply rooted in our subconscious minds, we don’t generate the results we so desire. Mind is two-dimensional. Life is not. Can you really draw the footprint of the house from the inside? Be careful what to wish for, you will just get it. And then what??
For my loyal readers, I’ve posted a press release and a TV interview I had with a local Atlanta TV station last month. Click here to watch. It was fun!